The Gambler and the Ninja
by KeeperS
Summary: Final Fantasy 6. Shadow has issues to deal with, and the most unlikely person is recruited to help. Finished.
1. Prologue

Prologue

  


The southern continent was a twisted memory of its former self. No animals roamed its fields, unless monsters could be counted as animals. Most plants had been transformed into freakish abominations; those that hadn't were struggling for life or already dead. The ground itself was blackened and desolated, and the few people still alive had been all but crushed beneath Kefka's heel. 

The rest of the world was no different. What had once been verdant grassland was now a rocky waste. The once glorious sun was reduced to a mere candle; there was a gauzy curtain of haze over the sky that the sun couldn't penetrate, creating a perpetual sunset. The nights were no better, offering only an empty murk devoid of any starlight. 

Kefka's Tower stood high amongst it all, like some terrible beacon of death. Composed mainly of pieces from Vector twisted together in some bizarre manner, the tower was visible from anywhere on the continent. While so many other buildings were collapsing in ruin, Kefka's tower seemed to grow taller every day. Even if there had been no visible reminder, nobody in the world, much less the southern continent, would have been able to forget Kefka's Tower. The tower would often blast the countryside with an unholy light capable of searing anything it touched; they called it the Light of Judgment. 

For some reason, though, the tower had been unusually quiet today, almost as if its owner was preoccupied with something else. Still, it seemed most likely to the survivors on the southern continent that the calm was just a twisted joke of the tower's owner. Such a joke was undoubtedly something Kefka would take pleasure from. The people enjoyed the lull in Kefka's mad rampages nonetheless. 

The peace was short lived. Just after evening, the ground began to quake, accompanied by a deep rumbling noise. Nobody could remember an earthquake so severe since the day the world was destroyed. The quaking intensified, now sounding as if a thousand chocobos were thundering across the plains. 

The tower was suddenly bathed in light, but this white light seemed different from the Light of Judgment. Instead of raining death and terror, it shone radiantly, illuminating the sky. The shaking grew worse still, and even those not attuned to magic could feel the energy being expended. It wasn't long before the magical waves were felt across the entire world.

It took several minutes for the citizens of the southern continent to realize what was happening. Those that were watching the tower gave a shout. The light had now completely engulfed the tower and was breaking it apart piece by piece. The tower was being destroyed! 

After the initial outburst, the people watched in an almost unbelieving silence. The onlookers heard a deafening boom and the light grew so blindingly brilliant that it was painful to watch. Then, just as suddenly as it had began, the rumbling stopped and the light faded, leaving the southern continent bathed in silence. A single airship barreled away from a now ruined tower.

  


  



	2. Chapter 1: A Death Wish

Chapter 1: A Death Wish

  


The ninja Shadow was pinned beneath what looked to be once some sort of machinery. Now it was just a piece of scrap metal, but scrap metal or not, it was still heavy.

"Ugh..." 

Unfortunately, that aching pain meant that he was alive. As far as Shadow knew, ghosts and spirits didn't feel pain. They hadn't seemed to feel anything when he had fought them, anyway. Shadow had thought the tower would kill him as it crumbled around him. Apparently he had been mistaken. 

From what Shadow could see and feel, his right arm and leg were broken badly, maybe worse. His body was covered in cuts and lacerations. Most of all, his head hurt like hell. He couldn't see his right arm or leg, since they were underneath the piece of junk, but from what Shadow could tell, he wouldn't live long. Shadow had certainly lived through worse injuries before, but there was no magic to rescue him now. 

Shadow gave the machinery an experimental shove, and immediately regretted it as the pain in his head intensified.

"Not going anywhere soon... guess I'm going to die after all, with these wounds. Ah well, that's what I intended, wasn't it? Baram... I'll be seeing you soon."

Shadow relaxed. Death, his old acquaintance, was coming for him. He had cheated Death many times, and sent countless people to their graves, so he had come to term with his mortality long ago. No, he didn't fear death. His mind wandering idly, Shadow wondered if the defeat of Kefka could make up in some small way for all the wrongs he'd committed over the years.

"Probably not," he said out loud to nobody in particular, "I've killed too many."

All he could do now was wait. Shadow had been standing somewhere near the bottom of the tower when it collapsed, so he was surprised to see the sky above him and not a ton of rubble. It was a deep blue sky... the sky of a world at peace, not the sky of the World of Ruin. At least Relm was safe. Interceptor would look after her. Without some madman guiding the world toward destruction, she could live a normal, happy life. 

Couldn't she?

"Relm..." he trailed off.

The pain faded to a dull ache and Shadow slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Shadow woke up staring at a ceiling, not the sky.

"I'm... alive?"

A man with long, white, flowing hair was sitting at a table next to Shadow's bed, apparently absorbed in a card game with himself. He had a rather large scar going down one side of his face, and smaller scars crisscrossing the rest of his face, but he didn't seem bothered by them. As always, Setzer was dressed.... uniquely. Some would say that his clothes were simply gaudy, and others would say that they were the height of fashion. Shadow never cared much for fashion, but compared to Kefka's outfit, Setzer's clothes certainly didn't seem gaudy.

Seeing that Shadow was conscious, Setzer Gabbiani put down his cards. "Ah, you're awake! Thoroughly alive too, I assure you, although the doctors were surprised on that note. You think your friends would just let you rot beneath Kefka's Tower?"

Shadow wanted to say "yes," but he decided that it wasn't worth his trouble. Despite all odds, he was alive for the time being. His arm and leg were in some kind of wrap, and upon further inspection he realized that he wasn't wearing his usual ninja garb. Judging by all the pockets his clothes had, he probably had on something belonging to Locke. 

Looking around, Shadow saw that he was in an unfamiliar, sparsely furnished room. There was a table next to his bed, and a few chairs in various places, but other than that, it looked like a completely unremarkable place to be. Not that Shadow particularly cared.

Shadow tried to sit up, but his head exploded in pain. "Where is this? Where are my clothes, gambler?"

"Figaro castle. Ah, sorry about the threads," Setzer said, noting Shadow's look of distaste. 

"Your ninja suit was torn to shreds, and you're about Locke's size. We figured it was a better option than dressing you up in Gau's furs or one of Celes' dresses," Setzer said with a grin.

Shadow carefully laid back down. "The others? Gambler, they're here too?"

"Yeah, they're here. _Some _of us are able to get to an airship on time, you know," Setzer voiced in a somewhat suspicious tone.

Setzer waited for a reply, but since one didn't seem to be forthcoming, he continued on. "We decided to take turns waiting for you to wake up. For some reason Strago refused. He said he wouldn't look after a fool. Pretty odd, huh?"

Shadow wasn't surprised. Strago very well could have recognized him without his mask on. He groaned. Damn, this just wasn't his day.

Setzer looked at Shadow with more than a little curiosity, but the ninja kept whatever he was thinking to himself. The gambler had always wondered what Shadow looked like under that mask, and now he knew. For the most part, Shadow looked like any other ordinary middle aged man, but there was something subtly different about the way he carried himself. The most striking thing was his eyes. Although they didn't seem to hold any emotion, Setzer thought he saw some deeply hidden troubles behind those eyes. 

Of course, even though his face was revealed, Shadow still had other mysteries about him. Setzer wondered why he _really_ didn't make it to the airship. Did the man have a death wish? Then there was the whole suspicious behavior that Strago had exhibited, and Cyan had acted almost as oddly. Setzer shrugged. Maybe someday he'd have his curiosity satisfied, but today wasn't the day.

"You're not much of a conversationalist, are you, oh shrouded one? Or should I say not-so-shrouded one? Ah well, I suppose I'd better go tell the others. Don't go anywhere while I'm gone, now," Setzer joked. It was obvious that Shadow wouldn't be going anywhere for a long time.

Before long, the room was jam-packed full of Returners. There wasn't much room to move around with so many people in such a small room, but nobody seemed to care. They were just happy to see Shadow alive.

Shadow pointedly ignored most of the questions sent his way. He wasn't in the mood to talk. In fact, he was amazed that these people seemed to care so much about him so much. Shadow wasn't sure what to think about that. Did they see something in him that he couldn't see in himself?

* * *

Later that week, Relm pranced happily into Shadow's room in the manner that only a young girl can. "Shadow, look who I've brought!" 

Interceptor, tail wagging wildly, came dashing in. Seeing his master, he leapt up on Shadow's bed and licked his face. 

Memories assaulted Shadow at the sight of Relm, but he pushed them back. Looking away, he mumbled, "Hmm... that dog is a lot more friendly than I remember."

Relm spent most of her visit talking about various events happening at the castle: the gross things that Gau did, Mog's crazy antics, Edgar's unsuccessful attempts at wooing women, and many other topics. It didn't take long for Interceptor to fall asleep at the foot of the bed. After a while Relm stopped talking, and Shadow realized that she was scribbling on her sketchpad.

Shadow pushed the emotions back further and willed himself to look at his daughter. As usual, she was clothed mostly in red, obviously a favorite color. It had been Encia's favorite, too. Shaking off that thought, Shadow noticed that her face was a mask of concentration. To his surprise, she was staring right at him as she was sketching.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing. I just thought I'd do a sketch of you. I never felt the need before, but your new look suits you. Maybe I'll do a painting later." she replied.

His new look? Shadow realized that he was wearing the sort of clothing he used to wear back before Encia's death. That thought made him feel uncomfortable.

* * *

Shadow was ordered to stay in his room for several weeks by the doctors at Figaro. For most of that time, he could barely get out of bed without being in excruciating pain, so he didn't argue. Shadow still felt that he deserved death, but the ninja couldn't bring himself to try anything with Relm so close. His will was too weak, as always. Baram would have been able to do it.

The other Returners, save Strago, came to visit him frequently. Apparently they had all decided to remain together for a little while longer before going their separate ways. Terra visited the most often, almost always with some news of the outside. Shadow wasn't sure if Terra just didn't have anything better to do, but most days he wished she would go away, despite the boredom of being in bed all day. He just wanted to be alone.

"...and Katarin's baby is doing fine. Duane's been nervous about being a father, but I'm sure he'll make a great one." 

Terra had been talking to Shadow for almost half an hour, and she could barely tell if he was listening. She looked over at Shadow for some hint of a response, but the man was just staring blankly up at the ceiling.

For the most part, Shadow was ignoring Terra. Instead of listening, he was wondering what fate had against him and why he was still alive. 

Baram... he needed to make amends with Baram. He couldn't do that alive. Why was he still alive? By all rights, he should be dead. He had wanted to die but had lived. So many others had wanted to live but had died. Encia... Why was fate so cruel?

Terra impatiently tugged on strands of her wispy green hair, one of her few bad habits. Shadow's apathy was starting to frustrate her. 

"Look, I know you're not the most talkative person in the world, but you could at least say something! It can't be that exciting sitting around in bed all day."

Shadow's thoughts continued unabated. He wouldn't be alive if the Returners hadn't come back for him. Why had they come back? Couldn't they have just let him die?

Shadow turned to look directly at Terra. "Why did you save me?"

Terra was taken aback by the sudden question. "Huh? What do you mean, why did we save you?" Terra asked. "Believe it or not, you're our friend. That's what friends do."

Shadow laughed coldly, sending shivers up Terra's spine. As far as she knew, nobody had never heard Shadow laugh before. "Maybe if you knew all the things I've done, you wouldn't be my friend. The innocents I've killed as an assassin... the blood on my hands..."

Terra frowned. She was beginning to get angry. "Okay, so you've done some bad things. So have I. So has Celes. Hell, most of our group did some things they weren't proud of at one point! The important thing is that you realize it was wrong. If you were truly such a bad person, you wouldn't have any regrets, any remorse. As long as you're alive, there's still time to make amends."

For some odd reason, Shadow felt the need to explain himself. "No, what I've done is worse. It's one thing to kill for money, but to abandon one's dying wife and her child? I don't deserve to live after what I've done. I wanted to die back at the tower, you know."

"What?" Terra exclaimed. Abandoning his wife and child? Terra had never imagined that Shadow would have a family. He didn't seem the type.

Shadow narrowed his eyes. "You think I couldn't have escaped the tower on my own? No, had it been my wish to escape, I would have been the first one back to the Falcon. I remained behind on purpose. The world's better off without another assassin."

Terra tried to get another response out of Shadow, but he had fallen into an even deeper depression and refused to say anything more.


	3. Chapter 2: Inspector Setzer

Chapter 2: Inspector Setzer

  


Setzer sat down for an early lunch. He was looking forward to a night of good food and good wine. If he was lucky enough, there'd be a woman or two in his future, too. Just as he was about to take a bite out of his Leafer sandwich, Terra burst in through the door.

"Terra, haven't espers ever heard of knocking? Really, it's only polite to--"

"Setzer, he wants to die!" Terra interrupted, obviously disturbed.

"Woah, woah, calm down there," Setzer said, his tone instantly softening, "Who wants to die?" 

"Shadow! I can tell that there's something in his past that's bothering him, but he won't talk to me! You've got to do something." Terra exclaimed.

Honestly, Setzer couldn't say he was that surprised; Shadow seemed even more morose lately than usual. Setzer had just assumed it was the guy's natural disposition, but maybe there was more to it than that.

"What makes you think I can do anything about it?" he asked.

"You know what he's going through. You had a difficult past too, right? You got over it... maybe you can help him with his problem. I'm not sure... for some reason I just _know_ that you're the right person for the job." Terra replied, ending with an exasperated shrug.

Setzer took a sip of wine and considered that. He did have some experience in getting over some traumatic events, but so did most of the Returners. Still, he had to admit, he was curious about Shadow's life. Maybe Terra's hunch wasn't so wrong. Most importantly, he knew deep down that he couldn't resist helping sweet, innocent Terra. She seemed so upset about this. It just wasn't right.

"Intuition, huh? Okay, if you think I'm the right man for the job, you can count me in."

Terra let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks! I just know you can do it!"

Setzer sighed. So much for his night of wine and women.

* * *

Setzer decided to pay the Strago a visit first. The old man knew something, and Setzer was determined to find out what. After asking around a bit, Setzer found out that Strago spent a lot of time in Figaro's library, and sure enough, there the geezer was, poring over some dusty tome. Setzer wondered of the old sage ever noticed how weird his hair was; right now the white mohawk was standing up at the strangest angle.

Setzer had never been completely at ease around Strago Magus; the man seemed to know everything and then some, which was disconcerting. Even worse, Strago had always refused to gamble. Even the more uptight Returners had at least humored him on occasion with a game of blackjack.

Luckily, Relm didn't seem to be around. Setzer had a feeling that her presence would only complicate matters.

"Strago."

Strago wasn't paying much attention. He turned the page in his book, apparently not having heard Setzer.

"STRAGO!" Setzer yelled impatiently.  
This time Strago looked up. "Fascinating... some of the migratory habits of the Rhodox. I really must read more of this author's work. Thasma doesn't have nearly such an expansive library, you know, and I've read all the books there anyway. I'm not deaf yet, sonny. There's no need to yell."

"That's... er... great. Um, actually, I came here to ask you about something--" Setzer began, but was cut off by Strago.

"Let me guess. Shadow? I may be old, but I'm no fool. You'd never come talk to me just for the pleasure of it. Some of the others would, but not you; we've never exactly seen eye to eye. What's with the sudden curiosity?"

"He's suicidal. That's what Terra says, at least. She convinced me into doing something about it, and I need information if I'm to talk some sense into him."

Strago shook his head sadly. "Wants to kill himself, does he? I can't say he deserves less, but where would that leave young Relm? That's just like the man, never thinking about the consequences of his actions."

"Relm? What's Relm have to do with it?"  
Strago sighed. Gesturing to a chair, he said, "Here, you'd better sit down. I suppose I'm going to have to start from the beginning."

Setzer sat and motioned for Strago to continue. The old man looked around the room for a moment, as if making sure that nobody else was there to listen. Seeming satisfied with what he saw, Strago began his tale.

"It was a little less than thirteen years ago. My daughter, Encia, discovered a man bleeding to death in Thasma's town square. How he made it all the way to Thasma was beyond me; he'd obviously traveled a long distance despite his wounds."  
"Your daughter? Wouldn't that be Relm's mother?" Setzer interjected.

Strago looked at Setzer in annoyance. "Yes, yes, I'm getting to that. Just shut up and listen already. That's just like you young people, always in such a hurry."  
"Sorry," Setzer said, feeling chastised.

"Anyway, Encia brought him back to the house, and of course I let him stay. Thasma was paranoid about its secret being discovered, even back then, but I couldn't turn down someone in need. He was injured badly, much as he is now, and he didn't wake for several days. He slept restlessly, always mumbling incoherently to himself. His ramblings were quite jumbled, so we were never able to make sense of it."

"My daughter patiently nursed him back to health. He woke, and we finally learned his name: Clyde Arrowny. He grew steadily better, and his relationship with Encia grew as well. Unfortunately, I was too blind to see her fall in love until it was too late."

"I had never much cared for the man. Something about him seemed... unwholesome. It's hard to describe it. Still, Encia was in love. She had a hard life with only me to raise her. I tried my best, but she had often suffered from a deep depression. When Clyde was around, all that sadness vanished. He was like a light to her, shining brilliantly in her darkness. In the end, they married. Despite my misgivings, I decided that he would be good for her in the long run."

Strago clenched his fists in frustration. "I was wrong. One day Encia came to me with tears in her eyes; she was pregnant. She had told Clyde, and he hadn't taken the news well. Clyde vanished. The pregnancy was hell for her. After losing Clyde, her depression returned, only much worse. She seemed to live only for her unborn child, the last legacy of that man. Relm was born, and Encia died shortly after of labor complications. She just... gave up on life. My magics could do nothing."

Strago paused. Setzer had never seen the old man look so... defeated. Even in their darkest hours against Kefka, the man always seemed to have a spark of hope within him, but talking about his daughter, Strago seemed hopeless. While Strago was normally like a child in an old man's body, his age seemed to weigh on him as he spoke. It was obviously an emotional subject, even now. 

Still, Setzer had to know the rest of the story.

Setzer gently laid a hand on Strago's shoulder. "I know this is difficult to talk about, and I thank you for having the courage to do it. What about Clyde... did he ever come back?"

The hopelessness drained out of Strago's demeanor, only to be replaced by smoldering anger. "Yes and no. The coward never came back as Clyde. A mysterious stranger visited the town from time to time, clad only in black, often asking various citizens about Relm. Shadow, he called himself. I should have known his identity, but once again, I was too blind to see the truth. All the knowledge in the world is useless if you don't use it."

"Relm doesn't know, does she?" Setzer asked.  
"Of course not! How could I tell her? 'Sorry honey, but your father abandoned you to become an assassin'? No, the one to tell her should be Clyde himself, but if what you say is true, that may never happen now."

Setzer thought for a moment. Shadow obviously cared about Relm somewhat, since he had asked after her. So what was stopping him from revealing himself? Fear? Guilt? Setzer had a feeling that there was more to this story. Luckily, he still had at least one more lead.

"Strago... thanks. I'll do what I can to help Shadow and Relm. Maybe I can somehow talk some sense into the guy."

Strago rolled his eyes. "Humph. Not likely. That man's nearly as stubborn as I am. Good luck," he added as an afterthought.

Strago promptly returned to his book, grumbling all the while about curious youngsters. Setzer couldn't help but notice that he seemed less focused on his reading than he had before. Talking about Shadow had obviously conjured up unpleasant memories. Setzer was determined to make things right.

* * *

"Thrust! Recover! Thrust!" Cyan barked, demonstrating as he gave orders.

A group of young Figaro soldiers stood lined up in the sand, hastily obeying orders. To Setzer, most of them looked like they were about to pass out at any moment. He was glad that he'd never been in the military, if this was the training soldiers had to put up with. 

Although there weren't any wars going on and Kefka had been defeated, it still paid to have a functional military. Better safe than sorry, Edgar had said, and Setzer had to agree. The Returners with military training were often called in to help train new recruits, which was undoubtedly what Cyan was doing.

Cyan Garmonde himself was decked out in full battle armor despite the sweltering desert heat. He wore his armor and his samurai sword as if they were a part of himself. Setzer shook his head. He wouldn't be surprised if Cyan slept in the damn things.

Setzer waited for a good opportunity and then quickly pulled Cyan aside. "I need to talk to you. It's about Shadow."

Cyan sheathed his blade. "What makes ye think I knowest anything about the man?"

He had expected this. Setzer grinned. "I've played a lot of poker in my time-- enough to gage most people's reactions by looking at their face, anyway. You never did have a good poker face. I saw how you reacted after seeing Shadow when we pulled him up from the tower."

For a moment, Cyan looked as if he was about to deny it, but then he sighed and turned to his men. "That be enough, for the moment, men! Give thyselves a rest."

"This be a serious matter, Setzer. Were it anyone but thyself, I wouldst be reluctant to speak. However, this matter concerns thee as well."

"Huh? Concerns me? How so?" Setzer was baffled. True, he had been asked to investigate the matter, but he couldn't see how it directly concerned him.

Cyan looked uneasy, as if harboring a secret he didn't want to share. "All in good time, my friend. Come, let us talk in more hospitable environs."

While they walked, Setzer shared what he had learned from Strago. A short time later, the two were in Cyan's room.

"You said this concerns me. What did you mean my that, Cyan?" Setzer asked.

"Setzer, didst thou ever have a sibling?"

Setzer frowned. "Well, yes, but it's not something I usually like to talk about. What the hell does that have to do with... wait. Don't tell me... he was somehow involved with Shadow?"

Cyan nodded. "It was thirteen years ago, when Doma still traded with the Empire. Money and food were often exchanged betwixt the two nations. Two men tried to rob a train with a million GP on it."

"Let me guess, Baram Gabbiani and Clyde Arrowny?"

Cyan nodded again, seeming slightly relieved to have shared his secret. "Both men were wounded by Doma's guardsmen. Thy brother was caught, but Clyde somehow escaped. Still I can recall the wanted posters. I shalt never forget Clyde... Shadow's visage."

Setzer wasn't sure how he should feel. He had never been that close to his older brother; Baram had run away from home at an early age. His brother had been a scoundrel, so Setzer had always suspected something like this. How many people knew about this?

"Cyan, you haven't told anyone about this, have you?"

"Worry not. You are the first to know."

"So... in the end, what happened to my brother?"  
Cyan suddenly looked uncomfortable again. "Dost thou knoweth Doma's law concerning thieves?"

Setzer shook his head.

"Normally, the punishment is not severe. Baram killed several train guards and nearly stole a million GP. He was executed. It had been decades since Doma hadst resorted to an execution, but in Baram's case, naught could be done."

Setzer sighed. "Don't worry. I knew long ago that he would meet his end at the hands of the law. I have a feeling that Shadow's the real one suffering from this. Between this and his wife, he must be burdened with enormous guilt."

Cyan nodded. "I shall officially pardon Shadow as soon as I return to Doma. His valor in combat was unmatched, not to mention his deeds of bravery at the floating continent. A man like that can't be executed, especially if he hath a daughter."

Setzer thanked Cyan and departed to mull things over. Shadow had known Baram. Did he blame himself for Baram's death? Maybe he thought that he needed to die to even the score. It didn't make much sense, but Setzer knew firsthand that a depressed mind wouldn't think logically. The beginning of a rough plan began to form in Setzer's head.


	4. Chapter 3: Facing the Truth

Chapter 3: Facing the Truth

  


Shadow looked over at the door as Setzer entered with a tray of food. Setzer was somewhat of an enigma to Shadow. Nothing ever seemed to get him down, despite how much he had lost. With the world in the state it was in, Shadow just couldn't understand the man.

"Hmm, I'm not as good as I used to be... in my better days, I would have heard you coming a mile away, gambler."

Setzer grinned. "Maybe you're just getting old."

Setting the tray on the table next to Shadow's bed, Setzer continued, "Anyway, I brought you some food."

Shadow shrugged and lost himself in his thoughts. He didn't know why he had talked to Terra the other day, but luckily it seemed that she hadn't spoken about their conversation to anyone else. Shadow shook his head. Clearly he didn't have as much self-control as he liked to believe. He had always been like that. He could never fully control his emotions, so he ran away from them.

Setzer pulled a coin out of his pocket and fiddled with it. "It's too bad that you're sitting here cooped up in bed all day, but without magic, the only way to heal people is the old fashioned way."

No response. Setzer sighed. He had his work cut out for him.

"Well, I know it gets pretty boring, so I figured I'd entertain you. No, don't worry, I won't be doing a jig on the table."

The gambler cleared his throat. "I guess I'll just tell you a story. Unless you'd rather see me dance?"

Seeing that Shadow wasn't about to respond, Setzer began his story.

"I was born in Jidoor, you know. Nice town, Jidoor. Most people in Jidoor are rich as hell, as I'm sure you know. My family wasn't. We lived on the outskirts of town, where there's a few run down houses. It's nowhere near as bad as Zozo, but it's not exactly paradise either."  
"My parents were honest, hard-working people. The rich need servants to do menial work, you see, and nobody with half a brain trusts someone from Zozo. Anyway, my dad was a servant for a minor household. It didn't pay great, but it put food on the table. My ma stayed at home and raised a household of kids."

Setzer paused. Shadow was still eating his dinner, and he didn't appear to be paying much attention. Setzer shrugged and idly flipped the coin in his hand as he continued.

"It might sound like my father had the tough job, but he didn't, compared to my ma. We were rowdy kids. With a name like Setzer, what do you expect? My older brother, Baram, was quite the adventurous sort. I guess some of that must have rubbed off on me. Of course, unlike my brother, at least I had some sense of right and wrong."

"Baram couldn't stand Jidoor. Too many rich bastards, he always said. He must have resented being one of the few people in town without money. He always hated being Baram Gabbiani because our father was nothing but a servant. My father was a good man, too, but that was completely lost on Baram."

"One day he just vanished. All of his belongings were gone, so he must have run away. We were all pretty worried about Baram. After all, he didn't have any marketable skills, so wherever he went, he'd be stuck with a low paying job, assuming he could find one at all."

Shadow had finished his meal. He appeared to be listening, although his face was as frustratingly unreadable as always. With a face like that, the man should start playing poker.

"It's hard to say exactly what happened to him after that. I know for sure that he didn't go somewhere and get a job; he hated serving others, and he didn't have the money or the skills to go into business himself. He was probably involved in the more dishonest pursuits: robbery, blackmail, that sort of thing."

"Of course, at the time, you could only do something like that in a big city like Vector, Doma, or Figaro. The smaller towns just didn't have enough money for all the trouble it took. I figure he went to Doma first, although it really doesn't matter. All of those cities had an excellent police force at the time. Thievery was a risky business indeed, which my brother would have found out quite soon."

"You couldn't get much money stealing from people, and it was also really dangerous at the time. Still, there were other options. There was tons of money being passed around between the cities on caravans... and trains."

There! Setzer was sure that the ninja had made a small gasp when he said "trains." It had been quiet, almost inaudible, but Setzer had been waiting for such a reaction.

Shadow flinched. This story was sounding more and more familiar by the second. Train robberies... hadn't Baram said he was from Jidoor? Shadow had never learned Baram's last name, but the man Setzer was describing sounded just like him. Besides, how many Barams could there be? It wasn't exactly a common name.

"That's enough storytelling, gambler. Maybe you should go talk to someone who cares."

Setzer shrugged. "If you want me to go, I'll go. I didn't think my story was _that_ boring..."  
Setzer shoved the coin he had been flipping back into his coat pocket. "Ah, I see you're done with your dinner anyway. I'd better bring the tray back before I forget. Last time the cook nearly prepared _me_ for dinner when I didn't bring it back."

Shadow wondered just how much Setzer knew. Maybe he shouldn't have made the gambler leave. Still, that story... dead emotions or not, he didn't want to hear it. It only made him feel even more guilty.

* * *

The next day, the doctors finally proclaimed Shadow fit enough to get out of his room. Shadow was a little shaky on his feet, but other than that, he felt fine. He always had been a fast healer. Shadow was glad to be out of his room, and he reveled in his newfound freedom. Finally he could avoid some of the more annoying Returners, like the wild boy and that yeti.

For the most part, Shadow spent the day walking around Figaro castle aimlessly. Interceptor was not at his side. The dog spent most of its time with Relm now, which was probably for the best. Shadow was still stuck with Locke's old clothes, but for some reason, that didn't bother him too much. He couldn't fathom why, but he wouldn't feel right putting a mask back on, nor did he feel the need to be shrouded in black. Did it have anything to do with what Relm had said?

He felt uncertain about everything. He'd had plenty of opportunities to sneak far away and kill himself, but he had never taken them. Why not? Was he just running away again? Shadow couldn't help but remember another time he was injured and what had happened then. 

There weren't many places to see in Figaro castle. Other than the airship parked next to the castle, there was nothing outside but miles of sand. After wandering around a bit, Shadow was surprised to find himself at the Falcon. He immediately saw Setzer, who was rubbing on a side panel with a rag and muttering to himself. Shadow stood there for a few moments, unsure as to why his feet had taken him here.

Setzer turned to wipe the sweat from his brow and finally noticed Shadow. "Ah, Shadow... stealthy as ever I see, even injured. The Falcon got quite a few scratches on her in Kefka's tower, and they're a bitch to get out."

Setzer dropped his rag and leaned against the side of the Falcon before continuing, "Anyway, you're not here to talk about that, right? It's good that you came. The others have been talking about going back home, so I'll be dropping them all off pretty soon. Is there anywhere you'd like to go?"

Shadow hesitated. Did he even have somewhere to go? Didn't he want to die?

Realizing that Setzer was waiting for an answer, he simply said, "I haven't decided yet."

The gambler nodded as if he had been expecting that answer all along. "Well, think about it. You've probably still got a couple days to decide."

Shadow left shortly after that, for which Setzer was grateful. Setzer still didn't have a complete plan to drag Shadow out of his depression. All he knew was that he'd better do something soon. Shadow could run off at any moment now. Time was running out.

* * *

The following night, the Returners had a going away party. Unsurprisingly, Shadow didn't attend.

Still, Setzer was in a good mood. It had been a great party, even with Sabin's lame jokes. He grinned. There was nothing like good food, good wine, and good friends to lighten one's spirits. He'd have preferred the company of a woman too, but Celes was spoken for, Relm was far too young, and Terra would only talk about his little job.

Setzer sighed. Yes, Terra would probably bite his ear off if he didn't talk some sense into Shadow soon. He headed for the ninja's room.

* * *

Strago paced impatiently across his room. Something was bothering him. He couldn't stop thinking about Clyde. It wasn't exactly Clyde that upset him; it was more his own actions concerning the ninja. Strago had never been kind to Clyde. He had always wanted the man gone, and in fact, he had made no secret of it. In truth, he was probably partly to blame for the man's disappearing act. 

His daughter had died, and his son-in-law was going to die too if something wasn't done. Someone had to make the first step of goodwill, and Strago knew that Clyde wouldn't. For Relm's sake, he had to apologize.

Strago resolutely walked toward Clyde's room.

* * *

Shadow didn't look surprised when Setzer showed up. Of course, the man never looked surprised at much of anything. 

"So, have you made up your mind about where you'd like to go? I'm taking everyone back the day after tomorrow, and it'd be easier if I didn't have to make a lot of trips."

"No," came the Shadow's terse reply.

Setzer shrugged. "It's no big deal. It'll take a few days to drop everyone off anyway, so you've still got some time to think."  
Setzer started to leave, but then turned around as if remembering something. "Oh yeah... I talked to Cyan about my brother. He said that some guy matching his description had been caught robbing a train thirteen years ago."

Setzer saw the unmistakable flicker of emotion in Shadow's eyes for the first time. He couldn't tell what emotion it was exactly, but that could wait. He had actually gotten a response! Maybe this could work after all.

"It turns out he had someone helping him. I guess a heist that big takes two people. According to Cyan, they almost got away with a million GP. They caught my poor brother Baram, who never was too good at anything. Amazingly, the other guy got away. It must have taken someone extremely stealthy to escape a situation like that. I bet Locke couldn't even have done it."

"What happened to this... Baram?"

Setzer sighed. He might as well get this out of the way. "He was executed."

Nothing. The flicker of emotion was gone. Setzer had to wonder if this man was really so dead on the inside. Oh well, he had tried. Maybe he would play the Relm card tomorrow. Seeing that the conversation seemed to be over, Setzer turned to leave again, but before he knew it, there was a dagger at his throat.

"How much do you know about me, gambler?" Shadow snarled.

Setzer was somewhat taken aback. He hadn't known exactly what to expect, but he certainly hadn't anticipated this. Still, maybe it would be better to get everything out of the way. Setzer knew that he was taking a gamble with his life, but that's what he was best at, after all: gambling. 

"I know enough. I know about your relationship with my brother, Baram. There's no need to feel guilt over that; Baram had it coming to him for years. I know about Relm. She's your _daughter_, man!"

Shadow opened his mouth to reply, but Setzer plowed on. "I've been where you are. It's a place of hopelessness, a place where there seems to be no reason to go on. I've been there _twice_. But you know what? You have a daughter! You have friends! You _do_ have a reason to go on. You have to live for the present, not the past."

The dagger edged closer, mirroring the edge in Shadow's voice. "Mind your own business, gambler! What I do is no concern of yours!"

Just then, they both noticed a figure standing in the doorway. Strago.

"Clyde Arrowny! Haven't you done enough already? I came to apologize, but it seems you haven't changed at all!"

Feeling somewhat ashamed, Shadow released Setzer, instead turning the dagger on himself. One quick slice of the knife, and his life would be over. He knew exactly how to do it; he had assassinated people quite often, after all. So why couldn't he do it? 

Why couldn't he stop running from the past? He would face Baram in the afterlife and make amends. Wasn't that still running away, though? Not running away from Baram, but running away from Relm and his responsibilities. He had done that once-- run away from Encia to become Shadow, and what had he gotten out of it?

He had always claimed to be running away from Baram and the deeds he had committed, but now he wasn't so sure. He never really cared about Baram; Baram had only been an accomplice in a crime. He never even knew how the man died until now! Baram's own brother had forgiven him! Baram had been his excuse, but Baram wasn't the real reason he fled. No, it was responsibility he had been running from all the time: the responsibility of being a father.

He heard voices, although to Shadow they seemed miles away.

"Shadow, I know life sucks... I know it hurts. But there's just a point where you have to let go of the past!"

"He's right, Clyde! What is Relm going to do without a father and mother?"

What _would_ Relm do without him? Her mother was dead. Her grandfather was getting old. Interceptor couldn't tell her bedtime stories. Interceptor couldn't give her advice. Interceptor would guard her, but he couldn't be a father to her. Another thought came to him. Would Relm even want a father like him?

"_Okay, so you've done some bad things. So have I. So has Celes. Hell, most of our group did some things they weren't proud of at one point! The important thing is that you realize it was wrong. If you were truly such a bad person, you wouldn't have any regrets, any remorse. As long as you're alive, there's still time to make amends."_

Was it really so simple? Shadow wasn't sure. He had a lot to make amends for, but he couldn't do that dead. Shadow knew one thing for sure: he was going to stop making excuses. Even if Relm spit in his face and told him to go to hell, he was going to tell her who he was. 

The knife clattered to the floor. Clyde was overcome with emotion, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, he wept. Whether he cried tears of sadness or tears of joy, Clyde couldn't say. Probably both. Still, it felt good to let it all out. He had ignored his emotions for far too long.

"So," Setzer said, his trademark grin returning, "I take it I'm to drop you off in Thasma?" 


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

  


It was a pleasant spring day, more akin to the days that the world had known in the past. The sun was shining brightly over a cloudless blue sky, and a light breeze blew through the trees, smelling of flowers. With Kefka dead, the world could recover. Already the plants seemed healthier, and most of the monsters had inexplicably vanished after the destruction of Kefka's tower.

Somewhere near Thasma, in a sunny field, a healthy looking man and a smiling young girl stood together in front of a tombstone. Other than the simple words "Encia Arrowny" on the front, it was completely unremarkable, but that didn't matter to them. They stood in silence for some time, just enjoying the day and each other's company.

Relm finally broke the silence. "Thanks for taking me, dad. I can call you that, right?"  
Clyde smiled. After all this time, it felt good to smile. He was beginning to enjoy more of life's simple pleasures. Maybe Setzer's take on things wasn't so wrong after all.

"Of course, Relm."

Clyde had finally taken responsibility. He still had to make up for all the lost time, but he was greatly looking forward to it. For some reason, getting to know his little girl was the most exciting adventure of his life.

Strago and Setzer watched the father and daughter from afar.

"I can finally rest now knowing that Relm is in good hands. I'm getting old... too old to take care of her, Setzer."

Setzer looked at Strago in surprise. "What are you talking about? I thought you had at least a good century in you yet. You're gonna be around when Relm gets married to me, right?"  
Seeing Strago's look, Setzer backed away. "Kidding! Just kidding!"

THE END

  


  


  


Author's Notes:

Well, that's it. Not the best story in the world, but it's the first I've actually finished. I wrote it because I had this idea about Setzer and Shadow that wouldn't leave my head, so I had to do something about it. I never intended for it to be so angsty, but I guess that's what happens when you write about Shadow. 

I tried to have everyone act in character. I figure that Terra doesn't curse much, but she was getting frustrated in that particular case. Writing dialog for Cyan is a complete nightmare for me, so I hope that didn't turn out too bad.

Also, I decided to name Clyde's wife Encia in homage to the anime Escaflowne. The Encia from Escaflowne was actually in a semi-comparable situation, so I thought it was appropriate.

Oh well, hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
